My Proposed Solution (or, "Why They'll Never Let Me Write Spider-Man") Part 2

I have been contracted by the General Conference to write about forty skits and plays that they are going to post on their website free for download. If you need, say, a skit that explains the relationship the Holy Spirit has to the Trinity, you'll be able to go to that website, and a couple of clicks later you'll have a script written by moi sitting on your desktop.

I give you this little backstory so that you'll understand why I've been writing a script a day. Most of them are pretty short, less than 10 pages, but it's still a challenge to come up with something new and interesting every day. As a result of this forced creativity, I'm having all these other peripheral ideas. I'm writing most of them down and hope to revisit each of them some day.

One such idea (which will never be used) was a new ending to One More Day. Imagine if this is the way it played out:

May is shot. Doctors don't know what they can do for her. Try as they might, they just can't save her. The damge is too vast and her body is too old. Spidey swings off, desperate for help. He doesn't care who has to provide the help, he just wants to save his dear old Aunt May. So he goes to everyone, hero and villain alike. Everyone reviews the case, but in turn, each of them shake their head and apologize. There is nothing that can be done.

Doctor Strange, who had bent time and space for Peter, that he might travel to each person quicker tells Peter, "it seems the universe is set in its way. Sometimes, to keep the balance, death is required." This sparks an idea in Peter. "A death?" He repeats. "Could it be someone else?"

The next issue begins with "one last day" between Peter and MJ. They're melancholy. They laugh, they love, they revisit all their favorite memories. Finally Peter kisses her "good-bye." Doctor Strange opens a time portal. Through it, Spider-Man can see the hotel room from last week. He knows where the sniper is. He waits as long as he can, and just as his Spider-sense starts tingling, he leaps through the portal.

Spider-Man crashes into Peter Parker, shoving him in the way of the bullet. MJ screams. Spider-Man falls to the floor, turns around, and sees Peter falling onto the floor, a bloody mess. Under his mask, he smiles, "it worked!" And then he fades from existence.

Between One More Day and Brand New Day we have an interlude: The Funeral of Peter Parker. It's a beautiful book in which all the heroes (and even a few surprise villains) show up to bade Peter good-bye. J Jonah Jameson even stands up and says, "he was the best damn photographer I had." Everyone you would want to be there, is there. Afterwards, MJ and Aunt May climb into a car and are driven home (would that be Stark Tower at this point? I honestly can't remember).

They find Peter there, in his Spider-Man suit, mask off. MJ looks at him and smiles. "So what's a world without Peter Parker going to be like?"

In Brand New Day, we pick up the adventures of Spider-Man. We discover that because of his heightened abilities, the gun shot wound didn't hurt him nearly as bad as it would have Aunt Many. A lucky side-effect no-one was counting on (though that won't be able to be said straight-out, as this Peter will have no memory of One More Day).

With Peter out of the picture, the Parkers now have to rely on MJ's workload to pay for their bills. This could be a new and exciting way to make her character more relevant to the story.

Peter refuses to show or tell anyone his identity. It's the only way he can protect MJ and May. With Peter "dead," no villains have any reason to target the Parker girls. This, however, does lead to a lot of distrust amongst the heroes. They don't know who this Spider-Impostor is and they think it's real disrespectful what he's doing. So this puts Spidey on the outs with everyone.

That's just the starting point. Countless stories could spin out of this set-up and would give Spider-Man a real interesting identity among comic book heroes. He would be the only one (that I can think of) that wouldn't have a dual identity. He'd be just Spider-Man.

But at this point, we would need a Delorean to pull this off.

A Healthy Respect

Just got out of JJ Abrams' Star Trek. Go see it. If you're any fan of science fiction, go see it. It is an absolutely fantastic space adventure. After you've gone and seen it, come back to this blog because the next paragraph (and the rest of the blog) is going to revolve around some plot points I'm not sure you want spoiled.

I've been a fan of JJ Abrams since Alias. I enjoyed that show so much, and the things he's done since, I've even gone back and watched Felicity. When it was announced he was doing Star Trek, I was psyched. Now, have just left the theatre not even an hour ago, I wish he and Quesada could have a sit-down.

The movie's plot revolves around a new timeline beginning. It isn't history being rewritten, it's a new tangent timeline being created. Which means the old movies and the old shows are still canon. They just don't apply to this new universe. Spock is the only character from the old universe to see this new universe. In fact, him being isolated or lost in this new universe is really quite tragic -- though, it does, admittedly, give him a new chance to be a new kind of hero.

This healthy respect Abrams has for the old show, its fanbase, and all prior continuity is so appreciated it's nearly humbling. In this single (first?) movie, he has created the opportunity for new adventures to begin. We can have new adventures of Kirk, Spock, Bones and Scotty. We can go back and revisit these beloved characters in the situations we loved seeing them in -- and even new moments as we carve out a new history for them. We get all that. Without having to forfeit a single episode or movie.

We can have our continuity and a reboot too.

It may be comparing apples and oranges. Doing this to the Spider-Man books would wreck havoc on all the Marvel comics, as interwoven as they all are. But it sure would have been nice. A healthy dose of respect would have been appreciated. Instead of the slap in the face we got.

Cognitive Dissonance

On the SuperHeroHype! boards (and every comic book store/comic con in America), there has been an on-going debate over Spider-Man's Brand New Day. Specifically, there has been an examination of the stories. We, the readers, have been trying to figure out why the stories we've been reading post-One More Day couldn't have been told with a married Peter Parker. Obviously, one of the directions the conversation has gone is over whether these stories are any good or not. Are people enjoying them, that sort of thing.

It was this path that led me reliaze that within me, and much of the comic book fan world, there is a very strong cognitive dissonance taking place.

Generally speaking, we like the stories. JMS' run on Amazing Spider-Man was one of drama. And while I enjoyed the drama, the more light-hearted stories we've been given has been a nice change of pace. However (and this is where the cognitive dissonance takes place), most of us are still befuddled as to why a Mephisto-ordained divorice had to take place to get us where we are today.

If it was just a change in tone that was required, why not just tell the Spidey brain trust "hey, let's keep things light for a while?" If Harry's ressurrection was going to be Goblin formula based and not Mephisto borne, why not just tell that story? If the concern was to return Spidey's secret identity to him, why not just tell that story? It seems like there's a lot of stories that could have taken the place of One More Day and accomplished the same result -- but would have let us keep MJ.

Scratch That

Why should I have to give up my hero? If I and thousands like me are willing to pay money to read a book that follows a maturing superhero, should we not be able to have that? I understand that Spider-Man is Marvel's property and they can do whatever they want, but shouldn't they also do what we want, as we're the ones employing them (essentially)?

If you want a more light-hearted Spider-Man, hire writers to write a light-hearted Spider-Man. Don't give Mephisto continuity-altering abilities that "allows you" to write the kind of Spider-Man you want to write about. Because, aside from the Betty Brant issue, all of these stories could have been told with MJ.

And let's be honest. The Betty Brant issue was really good. But good enough to throw Peter and MJ's marriage away for? Not by a long shot.

So man up, Marvel. Accept and embrace your characters' continuity and tell better stories! You know why all us fanboys loved Green Arrow's ressurection? It's not because we were all missing Green Arrow. It's because his ressurrection was the most continuity-embracing ressurection we'd ever read. He wasn't brought back with a spell or some reality-shaping witch. He was brought back in such a specific way we all collectively pulled a Keanu and went, "whoa." You could be doing the same thing -- instead of this "Brand New Day" crap that has left us all going, "what is going on?"

And not in a good, Usual Suspects sort of way; in a do-they-have-a-clue-what-they're-doing Phantom Menace sort of way.

Revelations

You know what? I get it. I do. My revelation came Thursday night, January 22, 2009. It was a revelation I was not expecting and it came from a source I was not expecting either. Who would have thought George Lucas would help me see the light?

I've been a long-time defender of the Prequel Trilogy. Yes, I am aware that all my dork cred was just sliced in twain by Exar Kun's double-bladed lightsaber*. My defense has (and will continue to be) that George Lucas makes movies for twelve year-old boys. When were twelve, there wasn't anything cooler than Star Wars. But now we're all growed up. And it's not that Lucas is failing to grow up with us. It's that his target demographic is now younger than us. We of the older generation need to step aside and let the twelve year-olds enjoy their movies (that being said, what if Episode II was Episode I, Episode II was The Clone Wars, and Episode III remained Episode III? There's a kick-@$$ Prequel Trilogy for ya').

Sorry. Back to Spider-Man.

So on Thursday, January 22, 2009, I heard myself saying exactly the same thing about the latest Indiana Jones movie. And that's when it dawned on me: If this is true of Star Wars and Indiana Jones -- why is it not true for Spider-Man?

Who am I to demand that the character grows up with me? Why should we age together? Why should he have to assume the same responsibilities I do? Comics belong in the hands of children. Well, most mainstream comics do.

So, Quesada/Marvel/Mephisto, I get it. I'm too old for Spider-Man. Spider-Man belongs to the twelve year-olds and you're just trying to get him back there. I just wish you had used other means to get him there. Because I've said it before and I'll keep saying it: The deal with the devil sucks.

I wish you would have just come out and said, "hey, Spider-Man's been great, but we want to take him back to his roots. So we're going to tie off all the loose ends, write one last story, and then start over." Not this "let's keep it all in continuity by throwing out twenty years of continuity so we can attract younger readers while keeping all the readers we've cultivated since 1962."

We could let Spider-Man be Spider-Man and, occassionally, maybe once a year, someone could have written a little one-shot or miniseries that explored the on-going life of the 616's Spider-Man.

So, just to let you know, I get it. I'm a man-child who needs to let his hero go. I just wish you could have let me know a little more respectfully.

* But surely that reference does a little to redeem myself? Right? Right?

Chuck Gets It!

Comic book writer Chuck Dixon just posted a fantastic blog over at his website. I'd recommend everyone read the entire thing, but here's a little excerprt I found especially noteworthy (and pertinent to this blog).

Then there’s getting the character outright, pure-D wrong. This warping and wafting of long established heroes so that they can play a certain role in a story that can only work if you violate that character’s whole reason for being, as well as his coolness factor, are the mark of an ungifted mind.

Like the hero who throws aside all of his moral convictions to make a choice convenient for himself. The hero who gives in because his writer can’t think of a way out for him is common as well. Or, my personal bugaboo, the hero known for his steel trap mind suddenly displaying the intellectual capabilities of a teenager visiting Crystal Lake for the first time.

Check out the rest of what he has to say.

Terrorist Fist Bump Anyone?

Happy Inauguration Day!

Truly Stan-tastic!

Okay. Now there is absolutely no sarcasm attached to that title. Why? Because in today's strip, Stan revealed that Peter and MJ's marriage is intact. He's just gone back in time to tell previously untold stories that took place before the marriage.

And that I can approve of.

:)

Stan-tastic!

It's hard to be sarcastic and cynical towards Stan Lee. I mean the man practically created the entire Marvel universe. And while I do wish he had a little more backbone and stood up for his characters, I do have to respect the guy.

His newspaper strip is taking the Brand New Day approach, it seems. Though he seems to be just starting over, by-passing the whole deal-with-the-devil thing.

Which, honestly, I like better. It doesn't sully the character in any way. It just lets the writer tell the stories he wants. The more this unfolds, the more I wish Marvel had just done that.

I wish they had told one last big epic story that tied off the entire Spider-Man run. Then, took a few months off to get their crap together. Then come back, with Peter Parker the lowly college or high school student. They could keep their flagship character and we wouldn't have to deal with all this Satanic alternate reality crap.

Here's hoping there's a happy ending in this for Peter somewhere.

Say It Ain't So, Stan!

Stan Lee, the creator of Spider-Man and the one solely responsible for the Peter and Mary Jane marriage, seems to have gotten on board with this Brand New Day Marvel is forcing down our throats.

I'm not sure what newspapers carry it (mine doesn't), but Stan Lee and his brother have been publishing a daily Spider-Man comic strip for what I can only guess to be decades. Well, starting today, January 1st, 2009, Peter Parker is no longer the man he grew up to be. Nor the husband. Instead he's a college boy, living with Aunt May. Again.

I Called It!

Almost exactly three months ago, I called it.

I said the only (real) plausible way for Harry to have come back from the dead was to have him healed by the same Gobline serum that saved Norman oh-so-many years ago.

I thought me being able to call it from so long ago would actually make it not happen. I mean, yes, I knew Harry was back. But I thought Marvel writers were cleverer than me. I thought by saying "goblin formula regeneration" that would force Marvel to say "Thanos" or "Mephisto" or "Ben Reilly."

But no. The answer actually was goblin formula.

And the truth of it is that it actually doesn't bother me.

Sure, I like Harry better dead. I think his character has served its purpose and bringing him back now is just to tug on the ol' nostalgic heartstrings of comic book readers older than 30 (you know, people who remember him before he became a drug addict). I also think this is the final nail in the coffin of The Osborn Tragedy. Bringing him back now doesn't seem anyway to revitalize the books, especially since his return demands a divorice or an anullment or . . . some marriage thing that Marvel usually just hocus-pocuses away.

Also, I like continuity. I've been waiting for this moment ever since Peter Parker: Spider-Man #75, in which Norman revealed that as soon as he was impaled by his glider, the goblin formula began healing his body. Thus his death was only his "apparent death." This obviously opened a revolving door in the lobby of Those Killed While on Goblin Formula (paging Doctor Hamilton -- Doctor Hamilton, you're wanted in the lobby).

Harry's return was only a matter of time. Especially with the Spider-movies doing so well and with Harry being such a loved character in those movies. Why not cash in on that? But now the timing's all wrong.

I would have rather had Harry come back a couple of years ago, maybe just before Spider-Man 2 came out. Sure, it would have looked like a cheap cash-in on the movie, but I'd prefer that over this. Because now, it just looks like they're trying to sweep Mephisto and his marriage-ending schemes under the rug.

Let's not forget it was within just a handful of pages from Mephisto splitting the Parkers up (and destroying years of Spider-continuity) that it was revealed Harry was alive as well. And do you remember Marvel's mantra at the time?

"When you make a deal with the devil, you get what you want, but you also get something you don't want. Peter and Mary Jane saved Aunt May -- but now Harry's back. What's that going to mean?"

The Spider-books are stained. They're tainted. And my Lady MacBeth-like wringing of my hands isn't getting it out.

OMD: One Year Later

Has it already been a year? I can't believe it, really. I've been so busy spending my Spider-bucks on Batman and Superman books that I forgot that it had been a year since I gave Marvel a single dollar!

(Okay, that's not true. I have been giving them money for Runaways. I love that book.)

All my Spider-books, however, I have purchased second-hand. Because I love Spider-Man. I do. He's my favorite of the heroes. I can't quit him. But I stand by my stance that what Marvel has done to him is unforgivable.

And I have better things to do with my life than to wait for things to get better. That's why I don't watch Fringe. I don't trust the writers or the powers-that-be to turn this thing around (no matter how brave Stan Lee says they are).

But. I still hold out hope. If they do turn things around, I might come back. For right now, I just can't. So until they do make mine . . .

DC?

Oh, I feel so dirty . . .

Register to Vote!!

We need to take a small break from this debate to stress the following:

Register to vote! Every state has different days for the deadline to register is, make sure you register if you haven't already!

For all my fellow Tennesseans:

Monday (October 6th) is the last day for you to register to vote! If you want to vote this year, you HAVE to be registered to vote! If you don't do it on Monday, you're going to have to wait another four years!

Put it on your to-do list on Monday! Do it before work, or after work, or during your lunch break or just call in sick and call it your Patriotic Mini-Day of Vacation. If you're in school, skip class.!

If you're one of my many non-Tennessean friends, here's a Rock the Vote site that will let you know when your state's deadline is. Mark it on your calender in red and be sure to get out there and register before the deadline!

They say it every election, but I do believe that this election may very well be the most important election of our time!

I don't care which way you vote.

I just want your voice to be heard.

The Problem With MJ

As I continue to wrap my mind around the concept of "a single Spider-Man is superior to a married one," I've tried to put myself in the writers' shoes. What would it be like to write the current Spider-Man? What would it have been like three years ago (pre-OMD)? What would it have been like in the very beginning? And I've realized something.

Mary Jane doesn't lend herself to the Spider-stories the way, say, Lois Lane can compliment the Superman stories.

In the Superman books, it's not uncommon for Lois and Clark/Superman to be fighting the same fight. While Supes takes on the giant robot/alien/Lex Luthor, Lois is on the ground, using her investigative journalism to expose said robot/alien/Lex Luthor plot to the world. Her job and her character go hand-in-hand with action stories. And honestly, her character lends itself well to a wide range of story types. You could put her investigation into the heart of a thriller, a horror, a sci-fi, a comedy, a drama, or an adventure story and it wouldn't be a stretch at all.

Then there's MJ.

You can tell she was created to be a supporting character. She was created to be part of Peter's life for a time and then, in all likelihood, leave. Or marry Flash or . . . Harry or . . . The Spot.

She originally showed up as a party girl. Someone who got bored when the situation became serious. She was there, really, to be a sexy counterpoint to Gwen -- who was a more natural fit to Spider-Man, Peter Parker and the whole universe. MJ went on to become an actress and a model and then (in the hands of Todd McFarlane, I believe), she became a supermodel. Not only was she quickly becoming someone readers couldn't relate to, she was becoming harder and harder to fit into the typical superhero-fights-supervillain stories that are comic books. Despite sharing more and more of the spotlight with Peter, she was still a supporting character. Because that's who or what she was created to be.

When Gwen died, though, everything changed. Some have argued that comic books everywhere changed forever. I can't testify to that, but I can say that the Spider-books definitely changed forever. Because it was then that Mary Jane stepped up and began to show some real character. When Peter was mourning the loss of their friend (his girlfriend), it was MJ that stuck around and tried to comfort him -- something that had never happened before. Thus began her journey towards becoming something bigger and something better.

She grew, but perhaps not in the way she should have. To be incoperated into the story more, she needed to find an occupation that would put her in harm's way more often and more naturally. And I'm not saying "so Spider-Man can rescue her" but so that she could carry her own. But instead of becoming a reporter or an activist or a politician, she became a supermodel. I would argue that was the first nail in her coffin (so to speak). But how do you incoperate a character like that into your story without grinding it to a hault? You have Spidey over here, swinging through the city, and then you flash back to MJ, who's on set or at some photo shoot.

I can understand the writers' frustration.

Because, as Peter's wife, you want to give her the best you can. You don't want to relegate the wife as the person Peter comes back to and whines at every night. In 2008 and beyond, you don't want to relegate her to Susy Homemaker. You want her pro-active. So I can understand the frustration. This seems like the constant problem you have in superhero books. How do you give your hero a partner that both fits your hero and the world he lives in? Looking back over the loves of Peter's life, none of them (with the exception of Black Cat) have really fit into the super-heroic world. Betty Brant might have, but people would have called her a Lois Lane knock-off (Black Cat is already seen as a Catwoman knock-off).

However.

This whole situtation reminds me of high school. I used to come home and complain about my teachers. When my grades would come in, and my parents would see a row of C's, they'd ask me why I wasn't doing better. I'd often blame my teachers, saying they weren't interesting or they were unfair or they just weren't challenging me. My dad's response was always the same: A good student will rise above a poor teacher.

A good writer will rise above a poor set-up. A good writer would make it work. A good writer would find a way to spin the story in a new and exciting direction that was also a natural one. While Brand New Day might seem exciting and new, it's not natural. It's an abrupt 180 degree turn.

Even acknowledging MJ's faults, this is still poor and sloppy story-telling.

But I guess I really shouldn't expect more from a comic book. Despite the leaps and bounds of growth we've seen over the years, it's still a medium that depends on sensationalism.

Apples and Oranges

Apples and oranges. That's something I like to say to people when they start comparing two things that have no right to be compared. "Apples and oranges, dude. Apples and oranges."

And if there were three words I could say to Marc Guggenheim, it would be, "apples and oranges."

What could he have said that would make me respond in this way?

"Here's my attitude, if anyone is upset about the marriage going away, then they must all be pro gay marriage," he continued. Because if you're pro gay marriage, you understand the distinction between a marriage and a civil union -- that a civil union is not equal to a marriage. We downgraded Mary Jane and Peter to a civil union. If that bothers you, then you're pro gay marriage."

I don't think Guggenheim could have come more out of left field if he had tried. Is this a slam against gay marriage? Is this supposed to scare homophobic comic dorks?

You can read the whole article over at Comicon, but for now count me confused.

Is this what Marvel is resorting to?

Totally Plausible?!

Marvel's feeling the backlash to Brand New Day. Check out this solicit for Amazing Spider-Man #581 (due out in December).

"The Trouble with Harry" (or "Harry Osborn and the Chamber of Secrets")

It would sure help HARRY OSBORN if he could remember the completely logical, non-magical, and totally plausible way he came back from the dead. A skill like that could be useful, now that his ex-brother-in-law, THE MOLTEN MAN, is out to kill him! Set your spider-sense to tingling as some of the most requested secrets from the time between ONE MORE DAY and BRAND NEW DAY are revealed.

Which says, really, just one thing:

Mephisto brought Harry back to life. But realizing that readers detest this idea on the level of Greedo shooting first (have I used that analogy already?), they've had to do some circular thinking to try to create a new way to bring Harry back, as if to say, "we always intended to do this."

Who wants to bet they somehow blame MJ for this? Like, the only thing that could have saved Harry was MJ not marrying Peter?

EDIT (9/24/08):

There's really only two "totally plausible" scenarios here:

1.) Harry was saved by the same Goblin-healing formula that saved his father.

2.) Harry is, in fact, a Skrull. As far as I'm aware, the Spider-Man universe has largely (compeltely?) been untouched by Secret Invasion. So this would kind of make sense for Marvel to do -- and the nice thing is, it's something they could have done with or without One More Day.

And, yes, they could have gone with Option #1 without One More Day, but Harry was "dead" for so long that it just wouldn't make that much sense.

Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends

Spider-Man is a loner. There's no question about it. He is not a team player. He gets along with people, and he's always an asset to a team, but he functions best when he's alone. However, that is not to say he doesn't need his friends.

Before the unmasking, there were a handful of fellow superheroes who not only knew the man behind the mask, but were actually good friends with Peter. They weren't a team, and they didn't get together that often, but you always knew he could turn to them if he needed help. But since the One More Day retcon, Spidey's lost these friends. He's got nobody now -- which is both awful and ludicrous.

I can certainly understand Marvel's desire to return Spider-Man back to his "lone wolf" status. In the past couple of years, there have been more and more superheroes creeping into the Spider-books. Their presence were required because Spider-Man joined the New Avengers. If you're trying to keep a tight continuity between all the Marvel books, you can't have Spider-Man on a team in one book and not in another. So I understand and support Marvel wanting to return Spider-Man back to his roots of being "just a guy in tights swinging from a synthetic web."

But they haven't done that. He's still part of the New Avengers. It's just that, now, his fellow teammates don't know who they're fighting beside. Which is fine, for the most part. Spider-Man's actions define who he is. The entire Marvel Universe doesn't need to know who Spider-Man is for them to trust him on their team.

But.

Two of Spider-Man's closest super-friends were Daredevil and the Human Torch. When Peter needed help balancing his super-life with his regular life, he went Matt "Daredevil" Murdock. When Spidey needed help with something scientific, he went to Human Torch. Together, they'd figure things out. Granted, those situations can still happen. But now they're going to happen behind this veil of secrecy. "I have this friend" sort of conversations. Which undermines Marvel connectivity.

If you're going to say that everything that's happening in the X-Men books are happening in the Spider-books or the Runaway books, it only seems natural (and right) for their to be a superhero fraternity. You have a couple of teams, namely the X-Men and the Avengers, that assemble some of Marvel's greatest heroes and let them fight side-by-side in a single book. Why do you have that (beyond sales reasons)? Because there are some problems that are bigger than any single superhero.

That's also why we have friends. Because there are personal problems we face that are beyond our range of experience or expertise.

Spider-Man can still be a solo act and have friends. But now he really has nobody to share his fears and frustrations with. Aunt May no longer knows his dual identity (which is its own crying shame). He no longer has Mary Jane (who, I guess, may or may not know his secret). He doesn't have the Human Torch or Daredevil. All those years of heart-to-heart conversations have been thrown out the window and he has become just one man against the world.

Which, in my book, is a giant step backwards.

I (we) Are Not Alone!

Wizard Magazine conducted a poll to see how people felt about the current state of the Spider-comics. The results of that poll were published in Issue #204, and I found this thread at SHH! that discusses the poll and its results.

As soon as I can find a direct link to Wizard's findings, I'll post it here.

It's nice to know I'm not alone in the world.

:)

The Castration of Green Goblin (and Venom, too!)

In Amazing Spider-Man #39, Spider-Man's arch enemy the Green Goblin discovered Spider-Man's secret identity. It was a shocking moment in comic history. Very few (if any) villains ever figure out the hero's secret identity. Despite all the jokes and teasing, I think Batman is the only character to ever figure out Superman's dual identity. It's something that just isn't done. Why? Because it raises the danger bar. If the Green Goblin is so bent on Spider-Man's destruction, why doesn't he just go kidnap Aunt May or any of Peter's friends?

Marvel drew this moment out a bit by giving Norman Osborn amnesia, but as soon as his memory comes back, Green Goblin strikes quick and hard -- killing Peter's girlfriend. It's that kind of realistic horror that just absolutely stupifies comic readers. Heroes are supposed to save the girls. It's basically comic's golden rule.

When the Green Goblin figured out Spider-Man's secret identity, an already formidable foe became an absolute terror.

Then, two-hundred and sixty issues later, in Amazing Spider-Man #299, Venom, in his first full appearance, is revealed to also know Spider-Man's secret identity. It might still very well be the best reveal of a villain we've ever seen. Spider-Man had retired his red and blues for a sleek black and white outfit and had been swinging around in them for some time. So when Venom is first revealed, it's in the Parker apartment. He steps out of the shadows and for a panel or two, we think it might be Peter. But then he smiles.

Instantly, Venom is propelled into superstardom. Not only does he have one of the coolest backstories, not only are his powers incredible and unbelievable, but he knows who Spider-Man is. And he ain't afraid to show up and scare the living daylights out of Mary Jane.

It's also worth noting that it's in this story arc that Peter goes back to the red and blues. Mary Jane is so traumatized by Venom, she can't stand to see the black and white costume anymore. Peter burns it and goes back to his traditional duds.

So there you have it: Two fantastic villains who set themselves apart from the rest by having the knowledge of Spider-Man's dual identity. It's knowledge that makes them the two most dangerous villains in Spidey's Rogue Gallery.

And One More Day has shoved them back into the pack of villains who simply don't like Spider-Man because he's just so darn quippy (that and he gets in the way of the bank robberies). It is yet to be revealed if it was the deal with Mephisto that erased their memories, but as of issue #569 of Amazing Spider-Man, neither of them are aware of the man behind the mask.

Sure, Osborn is still the brains of the Marvel underbelly, but he is instantly and suddenly far less threatening. Sure, Venom is still a complete sociopath, but if he's not going to be gunning for those the loves of Peter's life, how is he any different than any of the other crazies Spider-Man has to put up with?

They've been watered down. Neutered. Castrated. Robbed. Violated. Inexplicably changed.

Why does Marvel want to force Spider-Man to forever exist in the first thirty-eight issues of Amazing Spider-Man?

I thought we had all grown past that.

I know I have.

CBR Interview

Comic Book Resources conducted a pretty fantastic (and revealing) five-part interview with Marvel Editor in Chief Joe Quesada. Part 1 can be found here. There's links on each page to take you to the next part. They discuss all things One More Day.

See if you can make sense of it.